unemployed | Order of the Good Write

We’re two days past “Trick or Treats” and all the fun of Halloween, so talking about treating oneself might not be for those still trying to work off all those Snicker Fun Size bars they wolfed down over the past 48 hours.

(What are you looking at? So what if I’m buzzing on a foggy brained sugar high right now?)

But when life gets rough, the one thing we do is treat ourselves rough. When a bad diagnosis freezes you in your tracks, or you’re unemployed, or you’re now the caregiver to a loved one who is fading fast – the last thing we want to do is treat ourselves. We fall into a pit of poor eating, no exercise because all your energy is going toward those freaked out nerves coursing through your veins. That’s not cool, people. Not cool at all.

I’m not a guru on these things, but I will say – that I’ve known people who were caregivers to spouses with grave conditions. It consumed their lives to the point where when that loved one passed away – they weren’t far behind on shuffling off the mortal coil. Why? Because when they accompanied their partner to the doctor, they didn’t stop to ask about their own pesky cough or that weird spot on their arm. Things go undiagnosed or waited on because they aren’t focused on their own well being. Their priority is the ill loved one.

If you’re reading this and going through the ringer of life, please make sure you do the following. This is not rocket science, and I’m not saying anything different that what other people are saying a bajillion times on the internet, but since you’ve landed here – try this:

1) Breathe. Go to a quiet place and breathe.

2) Meditate. There are vast resources on the internet to get you started. It will ground you.

3) Eat well. Be careful with the food you chose. Treat yourself to a fancy juice. Drop the pizza and the pasta for a day. Know that you need your strength and well being.

4) Exercise. Start off walking. Breathe in the air. Take a yoga class. Try spin class – it will knock your ass on the floor and cleanse you. Or just do something that makes you move and sweat. Endorphins are your friends!

5) Reach out to friends and family. Ask for their help. If they don’t help, reach out to your community. Volunteer for a cause that means something to you. Meet new people. Get information on how to handle the difficulties you’re facing. If you have an EAP (Employee Assistant Program) group at your place of work – give them a call. Most companies have this service as a perk. There are counselors on call that can help you for free on anything – mental health, legal matters, financial planning, child & elder care. It’s pretty awesome.

And just know – that we are living a life full of nonsense and chaos with lessons galore. You are amazing and strong. Understand what’s bad in this world.

Be good to yourself and kind to the world, because sometimes the best treat of all is how you feel when you treat others the way you want to be treated.

One of the worst things a person can say to someone who has just been laid off is, “What are you going to do now?”

What do you mean, “What am I going to do now?” Are you asking me because there is an answer? Do you have a job for me in mind, and the question is to see if I’m free so your wealthy dad can hire me?

What am I going to do now?

Well, for one – I’m going to feel a bit relieved. I wasn’t happy in the job I held for almost 5 years, and was gravely underpaid and unchallenged. Not that I didn’t try looking for a new job with better options while employed. I did. I have a resume that’s polished and updated. I have recruiters numbers and HR contacts on speed dial. From New York to Los Angeles – I’ve traveled for jobs that rendered nothing – yet.

And then, I’m going to speak to my financial advisor who deals with multi-millionaires and must wonder why the hell she took me on as a client several years ago when I was making better money, had a better job outlook, yet moved to Los Angeles for a change of pace only to run into low paying jobs thinking I’d get out of this financial rut. But seven years on? I have yet to.

And then, I’m going to write a book proposal where I reach out to frustrated people who are underemployed, underpaid, unemployed – millennials, Generation X-ers, Boomers Y-ers — the multi-generational workforce that is fucking tired of trying to exist in this world. Not just in the material aspects of life, but spiritually. We are living in our machines – our faces illuminated in the light of our iPhones. We don’t see or feel each other. We argue and hate – in a world divided because we can’t find the American Dream.

And then, I’m going to find a job that pays better than what I’ve been paid. I’m going to write the book that needs to be written. I’m going to coach people to change their mindset so they find empowerment in the job seeking world that transcends race, gender and generations.

We are all in this together, folks. We need to wake up and understand how to survive.

Yet – here’s the thing:

I refuse to give into fear. I REFUSE to panic, to live in lack and scarcity. And if you find yourself in this position – YOU SHOULD TOO.

This is the hero’s journey, the big story of our lives, where we are taken out of our comfort zone, the “ordinary word”, and reluctantly forge to the “ordeal”, where we fight the slings and arrows of rejection and “what’s next”?

I don’t know if I believe we all have a “purpose” in life. Some of us do. Some of us don’t. But it’s nice to do something that helps others while we’re trying to help ourselves. It makes us – and jobseekers alike – human in a Human Resources world.

Just don’t ask a person who’s been laid off “What are you going to do now?”

What do you think I’m going to do?

Survive.