Order of the Good Write

That Magic Feeling When the Words Flow. A Blog by Debi Rotmil


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Mindset: The Matter of Money

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Let’s face it. I can spew all the spirituality and personal self help mantras to manifest and create abundance from within. But there is nothing like having some money in the bank. And in order to work hard at earning the kind of money we feel we deserve, we have to change our mindset about the whole megillah.

Although our money may seem scarce – to live in a mentality of scarcity only keeps you in the low numbers.

To freak out on not having the dosh by jumping ship to live where you don’t want to live, to be with the people you don’t want to be with, to think the way you don’t want to think – will only keep you there.

If you need something – work hard to earn it. To earn it is to know how to get it. To get it is to know how to keep it.

Think of all the lottery winners who’ve lost their dough by buying stupid stuff or “making it rain” instead of investing wisely. If you didn’t know how to earn it – how are you going to know how to keep it?

I’ve always feared money. I seemed to have come into this world fearing everything. Sometimes I wonder if I was ripped away from my previous life and reincarnated so fast that I still had the old birth marks of the person I may have once been. Everything, from the first day I can remember being here on earth,  felt frightening. The constant feeling of nausea – at food, mornings, doctors, school – was constant, until I could navigate the world.

But money is weird for me. My parents were always saving and being careful with it. I had friends who always seemed to have more money in their lives than I did. Nicer houses, more vacations, nicer clothes. Although my folks tried hard and did give me a lot, money had to be treated in practical terms.

If my mother wanted to join a gym to get fit and healthy, my father would scream and yell about it.

If my mom wanted to go back into the workforce after raising me past the age of 10, my dad would tell her she was all talk and no walk. So – she didn’t try.

I’m not trying to rail on my dad. He was a good man who felt he needed the whole world to be on his shoulders, and didn’t know how to understand my mom.

Money and how we treat it tends to come from how our parents handled it. But we’re only a product of our parents. We don’t have to live or think the way they did.  We’re individuals with our own strengths.

Sometimes we have to look at money like positive energy. It’s a currency that is so ethereal. It’s paper with value, and it determines our well being. But it shouldn’t.

We should feel wealth from within.

But try saying that to my bank account and landlord. Am I right?

Time to change the mindset. I’m going to try not to allow money to frighten me.

How about you?

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How To Bring A Hound to New York

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I miss New York like crazy.

With the recent change of jobs and, well, being “in-between” opportunities right now, I’m kind of free to move wherever I want.

I say “kind of” because I’m not rich (yet!?).  It’s not easy to just get up and move back to New York from California to search for work back home – where things are expensive. But I’m making some plans and getting my home inventory together for selling off my life to do it.

But here’s the thing. My hound Baxter is coming with me, and it’s going to be quite a journey for the little guy.

He’s a California hound.

He knows of green grass and warm to cool temperatures.

He knows nothing of snow.

He’s okay with rain.

I’ve not a clue what he’ll do with ice.

Maybe he’ll eat it? Maybe he’ll grow found of the taste of snow?

He’ll have to  learn to poop on concrete if we can’t make it to the grass fast enough.

He’ll have lots of smells because New York is a cesspool of smells.

He’ll find new friends that will make his wag his tail.

And maybe I’ll find things to make my tail wag, too.

Unless a job comes up in Los Angeles. If one does get offered to me, then I guess if it’s a great one – I’ll stay a little longer.

But I’ll still miss New York, and I’ll long to see my hound romp in the snow for the first time.


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Going with the Flowing

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Ah, the first feel of autumn. It doesn’t matter if the calendar bumped over the Autumnal Equinox, summer’s heat always hangs around like a friend who’s outstayed their welcome on her couch.

Pumpkins are on your neighbors’ front stoops. Cotton blobs have been stretched and draped over bushes and trees to resemble massive nests of spider webs, but actually look like dryer lint that has exploded through a laundry room window. Decor of miniature rubber rats and cats with arched backs are sitting on lawns, freaking out your dog who thinks they’re his enemies.

Yet – the summer heat still lingers. They call it Indian Summer, where the colors of the leaves that are ready to shed off summer branches. Both entities don’t match the temperatures hitting your skin. The smell of mulch, mixed with dying summer. It’s the in-between. The confusion of leaving something behind and looking toward winter and it’s chill.

But, I’m going with the flow. Setting up a routine of meditating, job search, networking and writing. Trying my best to ignore how each of my neighbors go off into the world to earn their money to keep their home, live the lives they have chosen.

There are possibilities out there, and I’m in the twilight between what has left me and what’s to come. Just like autumn is the in-between of summer and fall that roars right into winter.

I only hope that what’s to come won’t be a snowstorm, or brittle cold. We work on choosing paths that will alter the chill. We discover and cherish warmth, color, beauty, light and abundance within frost frozen windows. Let it snow out there.

We’ve got more than what we need within. The more we know that, and the more we work at what we want with that belief – we are sitting pretty. There is a job out there that wants me. What is meant for me will come. I will work at it and embrace it. There is much I have to offer.

And – there’s that book I want to write, and the course I want to teach.

“A blank page or canvas. So many possibilities.” Stephen Sondheim

That’s going with the flowing.


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Job Seekers: Pep Talk Time

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The job seeker’s search for the soulful job is a challenging one at best.  Some get paralyzed with fear and worry about the unknown. The reality is – the only thing you can deal with is now. Not the past, nor the future. The past is a memory. The future ain’t here yet, brother. You only have this right here. So, when the window closes on a job, believe me – a big door opens. I’ve been through this a few times. I’ve seen it.

It may cause your stomach to fall to your knees. Being “let go” is not for the weak hearted. But sadly, even the weak hearted have to deal with it at one point. They need to find their strength and get used to the waves. It’s not the end of anything. It’s a start of something. Yeah – I’m going to get all self helpy here.

Don’t give into fear. This change has allowed you to embark on a new, open road, filled with vast possibilities – as a chance to recalibrate their career compass, to learn new ways to improve skills and sharpen their personal outlook.

It’s scary, yes. Bank accounts don’t lie, and sometimes the severance check doesn’t land in your bank account sooner than you think.

I’m going through all this now, and I’m here to say this to anyone in this position:

Don’t give into scarcity.  Don’t shrivel up and panic.

Does the loss of a job put the fire under your butt?

Yes – it does. And that’s good.

Does the pain of trying to find your footing in the world of job search get you down?

You know what? Yeah, it’s a bummer. And you need to embrace that, because I’ve come to believe – through the readings of stoics and “not give a fuckers” – that happiness is earned through the rough and tumbly waters of difficulty. It strengthens your wings and sets your sails toward survival. That strength, that survival, creates happiness.

As Mark Manson says in his book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck”:

“…happiness requires struggle. It grows from problems. Joy doesn’t just sprout out of the ground like daisies and rainbows. Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles.”

I know – I’ve done the Abraham Hicks stuff, and I understand that in order to manifest cool stuff in your life, you have to feel good all the time. But facing the crappy stuff and finding solutions to your setbacks are more empowering.

Know your worth. Understand what you bring to the table when looking new opportunities. Don’t let anyone make you feel or believe you aren’t worth anything if rejection holds you down. Don’t let it suck you into the mire.

Know your finances. Be smart – not nuts about what you have to live on until you can find work. But if you have some dosh coming to you via severance or temp work – embrace it. Relish it. Be kind to yourself and treat yo-self to a lunch.

If you need to buy a new suit, or a new home printer because you need to look sharp and whip out instant resumes with powerful cover letters before that last minute interview — do it.  Spend a little money to help prepare you for the task ahead.

Get your hair done. Get your manicure fixed.

If your iPhone’s ringer doesn’t work and you keep missing important calls – consider getting a new iPhone – even if it’s not an upgrade. Just get yourself up to task so you show up bright, on point, shiny, empowered and ready for an abundant new chapter.

That’s what I’m doing. I’m flipping the bird on scarcity and fear. I’m doing it carefully because money isn’t growing on trees – but it is all around if you open yourself to it. Still -I’m not holding back on the things that I’ll need to get me there.

And if you’ve been unemployed for a while and have just given up – think of all that rejection as a nudge to do something else. Start a project that could spin into a real job. Volunteer at a local food kitchen. Start thinking like an entrepreneur and build a little something on the side that could spin into your life’s calling.

Take control of your path.

I know I’m going to get there. And you will, too.