Hello readers of “The Write”!  It’s the end of another Monday. I’m still working on the finishing touches of “Hitting Water” which feels like it will be birthed next week, but I can’t say just yet. This detail is up to Amazon and Createspace and all the wonderful people who work tirelessly on my behalf to get these books out for do it yourselfers like moi.

But, I’m just checking in because I’m still on a high from shopping at Target on Saturday morning. Yes – it’s been over 48 hours since I ventured out to the “Big Red Bullseye” or “Targee” as they pronounce it in hoity toity fashion, but I’m still floating. And may I just say – this is not an advertisement. Not at all. I wish I had a sponsor in Target, but I don’t.

I haven’t stepped foot in Target since I lived in New York in 2010. I don’t know why I haven’t. It’s likely due to the parking situation here in LA. I haven’t been to a Whole Foods in two years for the same reason. You just can’t find a parking space. It’s nuts.  But since I’m was in the market for a new vacuum cleaner and a Crock Pot, I was determined. I got out early on Saturday, and set my sails for the nearest store.

The nearest Target is 2 miles away, in a shopping center known as The Beverly Connection, across from a mall known as The Beverly Center. I turned into the parking lot, drove up the ramp to the level Target lives, and was slapped across the face with the gorgeous sight of a sea of empty parking spaces. I happily parked my Prius C next to the entrance to the store. Yes, it was open. Yes, it was huge, roomy, clean and full of bargains. I was back baby. Not since I lived at City Center in White Plains, where my apartment building was above a shopping mall, and a branch of Target was my basement, had I felt this wonderment. I was a child in a candy store, ready to buy bargain workout clothes, boots and appliances I had longed for.

Just the shopping cart alone was a pleasure, in it’s heavy corded red plastic. The wheels were shock absorbed, floating on air ready to hold the spoils of my hunt.  Man, I needed hosiery. Knee highs and tights – I’ve let it go too long, wearing socks with holes in the toe or agonizing over uncomfortable stockings where the crotch ends up near your knees after walking 10 feet. Done. Good price. Hosiery – I’ve got you covered.

Then, I needed a nice pair of three inch heeled booties for my bootleg dress yoga style pants. This is now my staple. Middle age and hormones, exacerbated by the loss of an ovary last year, has made it uncomfortable for me to wear jeans. So, I starve and work out and live luxuriously in these form fitting comfy bootleg pants in different colors that desperately need a nice heel and toe to complete the look. The three inch booties I’ve worn since 2007 (yes, I wear stuff to death) were ripped, pulled, stretch and done. Whatever will replace them? Boom!  Over in the shoe department, a nice set of cute black suede boots will do the trick. Forty bucks. Better than the $119 boots I saw at Zappos. Come, little booties. Come join the knee highs, tights and the new workout top in my lovely, quiet and cozy red shopping cart!

But enough with all these distractions. Time to get what I came for – a Crock Pot – to make all those yummy meals while I’m at work.  Easy enough – they were right there in kitchen appliance aisle. Twenty bucks for a nice pot that will fit in my cabinets. Done!

And now, the final piece to the puzzle. I needed a vacuum cleaner. Badly. The one I had used to be amazing, sucking up dog hair like crazy. But in the three years I’ve used it, I realized that it’s heavy, cumbersome and giving off a horrible puke smell. Why? I don’t know.

Over to the vacuum and cleaning aisle. And there I saw it…the king of all vacuums. The stylish and highly coveted Dyson. La Creme de la Creme.  I’ve avoided it for years. It’s so expensive. Is it worth paying so much for something that involves cleaning?  Well, the smell of puke emulating from my old Bissell said – YES!

I didn’t get a deal on this. I missed the Black Friday sales. I paid the usual price.   But – when I brought it home and used it, the whole picture became a revelation. Floors were immaculate. Carpets were fully cleansed. The lightness of the appliance and the ball technology help mold the vacuum to every surface and difference in height between floor and rug. I haven’t seen my place look so great since the day I moved in and unpacked.

So, although I have a book coming out, and am thrilled – I’m also riding a Target High. Happy for the goodies I got and the good use to come.

Now, I have to get a DropCam to monitor my dog while I’m out at the office – and then I’m good!

And then a new digital piano.

And a trip to San Francisco for Comedy Sketch Fest.

Okay, and then I’m good.

For now.