Order of the Good Write

That Magic Feeling When the Words Flow. A Blog by Debi Rotmil

A Meditation on Demons


He was a constant – a man who embodied the theatrical comedy and tragedy masks of Janus. He was a clown who walked a tightrope above us, always there in the peripheral of our lives, smiling, laughing, waving, dancing, shouting. I never expected him to fall.

It’s like the scary monstrous knight who tortures him in the Fisher King. Just as his character is falling in love again, the trauma of his last love haunts him, bringing forth this horrible, unspeakable demon who chases him into a corner, until he happily welcomes a gang of thugs who beat him senseless – to end it all. It’s like suicide was the thug.

It was that deep, dark, horrible ghost – like in the corner of the attic in the mansion where he played as a little boy. That dark area he never went near to which he succumbed.

Its been over a month now. I’ve already written about him this week.

I need to get over this, but this flooded my mind today.  It’s the human condition.


Author: Debi Rotmil

I'm Debi Rotmil. I'm the author of the book "Hitting Water: A Book of Stories" and founder of The Good Write. I work in finance, write, eat, walk the dog, write, blog, jog, spin. I work everyday to try and change the world in my own way.

6 thoughts on “A Meditation on Demons

  1. I’m in a similar spot – yesterday I was back in mourning mode. August 11, or 8/11 as I call it, hit me harder than I can explain. I was a wreck, and I don’t wreck easily. Two weeks it took, for me to regain my composure. During that time, I scoured the net for anything Robin Williams. I search the blogs for any tag that has his name. That’s how I found your entries. It has become a daily ritual. Lately, there have been fewer but more thought provoking entries. You might find this blogger’s entry worth a read. enlightenmentisreal [dot] wordpress.com/2014/09/16/robin-williams-life-and-death/

    • Oh my God, Maggie. That’s exactly how I’ve been. Just pouring over the internet looking for Robin. I guess I’m making up for lost time. Many thanks for suggesting the blog. I’m heading over there now. Have a great weekend!

  2. RW dropped into Mark Pitta’s weekly Tuesday Night Comedy show at the 142 Throckmorton Theatre in Mill Valley on a regular basis. You can go to YouTube and search for, mark pitta robin, and find a number of videos with Robin.

    • This is amazing. Sounds like it was his neighborhood club since it was close to his home. Thanks! I’ll check it out.

      • 142 is just that for many Bay Area comedians. We saw RW more times for free than when we were lucky enough to get tickets for his scheduled performances. He is sorely missed for numerous reasons in our community.

  3. The videos are terrific! I’ve lived in LA for a few years, and am finally heading up to SF for the first time around the holidays, possibly in January-February during SF Sketchfest. I’d love to make it up to Marin and check out 142. Must be a special place. I’ve been reading commentary from members of your community, and it’s so sad. Such a hole left in his place.

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